Saturday, July 30, 2011

Kindness

I want to thank everyone for their wonderful support and encouragement regarding my upcoming book.  It is really more for you than me and I can’t wait until you can see it.  I also appreciate all the kind words regarding my apartment.  It’s taken a lot of work to get it where it is and will take more work to get it finished but I am really happy in my new space. 

It’s funny how things can change so quickly.  Just a week ago, I had one of those periods that every blogger experiences.  I lost my mojo and was feeling uninspired.  A rude comment from someone berating my grammar didn’t help.  Mind you, he didn’t politely point out my error so I could fix it.  I would have welcomed that help. His comment was on the heels of a nasty email from a reader who was upset that I didn’t post her other comment immediately or take down the photo she demanded be removed because a flag was hung incorrectly.  I guess she didn’t know or care that I was out of the city visiting my family and trying to recharge my batteries by not being on the computer. 

Those can’t top the two accidental replies that I received yesterday in response to my apartment photos.  The subscribers meant to forward the emails to their friends but instead sent their comments to me.  They weren’t terrible but it’s interesting how people who don’t put themselves out there are so quick to judge those who do.  They sit behind their computers and post Anonymous comments or worse, email bloggers directly to tell them how much they don’t like their work.  It’s one of the reasons why I don’t like to post my client work.  I don’t need them seeing something written somewhere that hurts their feelings. 

A top interior designer once told me a story about when he was just starting out at a firm.  In those days, shelter magazines were rare and when Architectural Digest arrived, they all stopped and looked at it together.  While reading one issue, he kept commenting about how ugly everything was and he hated it all.  His boss finally stopped him and said that “someone paid for that design so they like it.  A magazine chose to publish it so they also liked it."  One of things that I have always tried to stress is that “to each his own.”  Just because it’s not your style or you would have done something differently, that doesn’t make it wrong. 

I also don’t pretend to be perfect but I do try to see the good in everything or at least be polite  There have been times that I have thought to myself that something was ugly but I certainly didn’t write an entire blog post about it for all to read.  Why is it necessary to be so unkind to strangers online? 

Just as I kept wondering why I continue to blog for people who don’t even appreciate it, I received an email from a friend.  She was in Paris and couldn’t wait to check out the hotel that I just posted.  She also informed me that she was moving out of New York because she was just diagnosed with ALS or Lou Gehrig’s disease.  That put everything in perspective.  There are a lot more important things in this world that we should be worrying about than whether I misspelled a word or you didn’t like someone’s room. 

She also said, “Your blog makes me happy so keep it up.”  It was always my intention to make Habitually Chic a happy place where you could come to see something pretty or learn something new.  Maybe have a laugh and be inspired as well.  There is nothing I can do for my friend to help her condition but if reading my blog everyday will bring her some sense of happiness during her struggle, then I will definitely continue. 

Her last line read, “Life is short, live everyday to the fullest!”  And to that I add the immortal words of Plato, “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”  

185 comments:

Chic Coastal Living said...

Beautifully said....I work with people who always have something to complain about and their life mirrors it. That's why I choose everyday to be grateful and to be kind to others because, it is so true and I just said it to my running partner today, everyone has had some type of battle in their lives at one time or another. God bless you and please keep writing! I visit your blog everyday! :) Desiree

Tara Dillard said...

BE WHO YOU ARE. 4 hardest words of advice I have heard.

Congrats on the critiques, it means your thoughts are valued.

Mean people? Ha, they are so obvious.

Thank you for all you share. It enriches me.

Garden & Be Well, XO T

mootsie0109 said...

Well said - and also know that there are lots of us out here who don't always comment, but truly appreciate all you share with us! The loudest aren't always the majority!

Marisa

trish coffey turrentine said...

I adore reading your blog....I can't wait to read it daily. Alot of People are just sooooo jealous and can't wait to find some fault in all!!! Drives me nuts!!!
Please keep up the good work!!
Trish......

Anonymous said...

These are clearly unhappy people.
Nothing nice to say don't say it!
Stay positive!

Kristin Kerr said...

Beautifully written. I look forward to reading your blog everyday - Keep up the good work!

Wishing you all the best!
Kristin

making50fabulous said...

This post made me cry a little. I wish your friend love and joy through her process. I was brought up to be nice. When I was younger it made me feel a little vulnerable but now I really appreciate it. Kindness makes the world a much better place all around. And btw, I love your blog. Just found it recently and I'm still catching up but I think it's top notch. Good luck with the book. :)

selle said...

Amen Sista!! Keep your chin up!

anne said...

I have been lurking and reading your blog for over 6 months now-- have never commented. take heart! you are bringing joy. I especially love your image "collections"--tennis, july 4, other themes. I check in almost every day to see what's up. you do give me pleasure. your new apartment looks delightful. peace!

selle said...

Amen Sista!! Keep your chin up!

A Few Pennies said...

I really needed to hear your "voice" related to rude posters. Your blog is fabulous for many reasons--you are successful and give inspiration to many readers--most bloggers look and will not leave a post--but, they love what you do. To those who find it necessary to berate a posting is probably a jealous, insecure person. I cannot wait for your book to come out; keep up your wonderful blogging and tune out the negative people--you are onto something wonderful! Have a great weekend.

Elizabeth said...

I too, received an anonymous negative comment recently and almost quit blogging completely because of it. I felt like I was misunderstood and that the blogging was more work than it was worth (I have 144 followers). But my other readers and friends convinced me not to give so much importance to people who want to spread negativity and yet are not brave enough to leave their name. Keep doing you, and they will get back what they put out.
-e (modern24seven.blogspot.com)

Anonymous said...

I adore your blog. Between my stressful job and being a mom of a young child, your blog, among a few others, is a delightful outlet for my seldom recognized creative side. Thank you for setting forth such good positive energy into the world and being brave enough to express your beautiful thoughts to all of us.

Jennifer said...

I regularly follow, scan, and/or read 6-7 inerior design blogs each day. Habitually Chic is the first one I access (even before I've had my morning coffee). Because...you provide almost daily updates of beautiful, inspirational, and interesting things. I can't imagine the amount of work it takes to consistently reach out to your readers with someting fresh and differnt considering everything else you have going on in your life. Thank you.

Chin up - no one is perfect! Your energy and positive spirit come through in your posts.

Jimmy The Undercover Designer said...

I have been subscribed to your chic blog for quite some time and enjoy your posts a lot. I think blogging is fun and should remain to be so and not to be taken too seriously like most things in life, if someone wants to leave a mean comment delete it. But I have to say sometimes things come across differently in writing and intentions can be misread. Sometimes people might be trying to be funny but it comes across as mean or sarcastic or a number of other things depending on who is reading and their frame of mind. I recently received comments on my blog and Really could not tell whether the people were joking or being mean. I left them there and decided to take them positively.
Just wanted to tell you keep up this beautiful blog for all of us to enjoy.

IvoryAnn said...

I read your Blog every day and I love it. I love watching your new apartment evolve. Thank you for the beautiful photos. Take heart and ignore the small minded negatives that some feel they must utter.

Virginie said...

Dear Heather,

This simple message to assure you that your blog is a real pleasure to read and visit. If things don't go well I'm always feeling better after a peek.
I hope you'll never get tired to continue it.

Jeannine 520 said...

Good grief, there's no shortage of mean people or cowards in the world is there? The best thing to do is ignore them and keep in mind that if they had anything to offer the world except their nastiness, they would. It must really suck being them!

Anonymous said...

I love your blog! It does make me happy. And my daughter and I use it as inspiration for her first apartment in NYC! Never mind those who sit in the dark in their pajamas and post nasty comments... They are harmless.

kp said...

Lord people can be so mean!!! You are in great company..Gwyneth almost closed up shop on her Goop blog from all the nasty comments and then she ran into a man in London who told her that he visited Nashville becasue she had written about it and he loved it. She thought even for that one reader, it was worth keeping it up. Your blog is so great and inspiring to so many people. It is a sign that you have really made it big when you start to get the bad press!!! Have a great weekend! kristin pearce

Karena said...

Heather, you know that your site is one of my favorites and I comment as often as I can.

I too received a rude anonymous comment the other day about letting others know about the Giveaways I have. My blog started as a way to show my own art and has evolved into a way to give back and pay it forward. Also promoting other artists, artisans etc.

All this person had to do was email me and ask not to be notified, that simple. 99.9 out of 100 are thrilled to participate!

It is too bad that anyone out there can be so petty. We simply have to keep doing our best, knowing that the hard work we do means a lot to most people.

You have accomplished so much!

xoxo
Karena

Art by Karena

Anonymous said...

There is an old saying in the south......
They only shoot at you when you are out In front

laura said...

well said. the world would be a better place if everyone was a little kinder than necessary. looking forward to your book!

JP said...

As a decorator living in the south, I understand that we can not be all things to all people. Having said that, the people who choose to criticize and and red pen grammatical errors are sad, bitter and petty people with no life. The fact that so many of us in the business read your blog daily should be the real validation that counts! If the critics do not enjoy your beautiful blog, go elsewhere!!! Don't let the sad and pathetic few who make snarky comments claim any ownership to this very enjoyable piece of my day. Keep up the GREAT work! JP

K said...

I love your blog and read it everyday. It's my favorite. There are nasty people in the world and I'm not sure why they work their crap out on you instead of themselves. Unfortunately that's life.

Your book will do well. Congratulations! That is a huge accomplishment.

Eleanor Cummings said...

I am crazy about your blog. it is the first design blog I read
Every am .....keep it up!
Eleanor Cummings

Anonymous said...

Stop whining, you kind of sound like a brat. Especially, when you list all the people who were "mean" to you. I mean, it's a blog, not brain surgery.
Your apartment looks very sweet. Good luck with it.

Melissa said...

I'm a professor of mass communications--and we teach our young people to be purposefully respectful in all of their communication--on all platforms. I like to think educated people aren't so small minded as to do otherwise.
I also teach the students that everyone who does something--anything--positive, useful, or beautiful will be criticized and insulted. It's a certainty.
The trick (particularly for women!) is to know it, accept it, and do it anyway. We soon find the only feeling the nasty people spark in us is pity.
BTW-I read a few times each week, and I use your site as inspiration for some of our future artists!

Peeke said...

The ending of Ratatouille is so true. Especially the part when the critic admits that even his best nasty review isn't worth a hill of beans compared to the work of an artist who creates something and puts their work out there for others to see.

I love your blog and many others. I have so much admiration for you guys for the time and effort and care you put into your blogs so I can have a nice dose of eye candy everyday.

Some people's Momma's just didn't raise them right!

CL Peeke

Anonymous said...

I once read that the best gift we can give someone is our own happiness. It is easy to find fault, but sharing appreciation of beauty and good things as you do brings joy to many people.
Ariane

Anonymous said...

Yours was the very first blog that I ever read and your blog roll has lead me to others that I enjoy. I must say that yours is always classy and interesting. Congratulations on your successes....it is not easy being in the public eye but, you do it with style and grace. Thank you.
-JK

david said...

Each morning, I use the Internet to help me wake and there is a set ofsites I visit to achieve this; Yours is on the A-list. Thank you for the beautiful mornings, the inspiration and the good beginnings. As for the bold and the rude: a late friend had the expression: "Heap up burning coals of kindness upon their head and prepare them for the Day of Judgement." Wow!
And thank you; Good Luck on your Book!
David

Karlita said...

Dear Heather, your posts, work, apartment and words are always beautiful, positive, chic, classy, fabulous!.. I am kind of new in the blogosphere but since I found your blog I haven't stopped reading it daily... there will always be people who envy us... unlucky them! but don't let them steal what they see in you that they don't have, which in this case could be friends, followers, an ongoing successful career, a pretty face, clients.. all of us have mistakes.. sorry about the people who concentrate on those.. and I admire that despite other bloggers, you do post your name, your picture, your place.. thanks for taking that risk, many of us appreciate it very much!

Anonymous said...

I love your blog. It is probably one of the best if not THE BEST out there. I cannot count how many times you have written about something and I have gone to see it or bought it or googled it. You have a great talent so do not let anyone get you down!!!!!<3

John Frantsen said...

I agree with everyone above. Your blog is an inspiration, even in Denmark.
Keep up the good work ;o)

kate pm said...

Just so you know, your blog makes me happy, too!

Anonymous said...

I am an Australian currently living in the Philippines and i found your blog while i was on bed rest during my pregnancy. It brought colour and happiness to a difficult time and i have continued to read your blog daily (or as my bouncing 2 month old permits). You are bringing inspiration and happiness to people all around the world. This is powerful and very much appreciated. Thank you. Keep up the great work x

MaryBeth said...

Heather, I have been reading your blog for a very long time and I feel bad sometimes that I know you put so much effort into each and every post but seriously how many times can I write "I love it"? I would every day if it meant that you would ignore the bad comments. As you know, not everybody can like everything, I feel bad if I comment that I don't like that rug or light because someone did and they paid for it and I would hate for that to be my sofa someone was hating on and I try to remember that before I post. Should people say they don't like it, probably, if it can be done in a nice way otherwise shut it. Nobody is making you read it and nobody is making you pay for it so what is the problem?
BTW don't correct my grammar I like it this way.

Anonymous said...

Dear Heather, I live in Australia and I look forward to reading your blog - it's the first thing I do when I get to work in the morning!Your posts are always so well thought out, so artistic and I really enjoy reading them. Ignore all those who spew negativity - and keep up the great work! Best of luck with your new apartment and your upcoming book, I can't wait to read it! All the best

Krystal said...

What an inspiring post! I love the Plato quote, I am going to write that one down. I can't wait for your book!

RubyMel said...

I don't ever write comments because....I'm lazy...I admit it. :) Seeing people's rudeness online has really made me assess the comments I write or say. I know it's hard to keep your head up against people who are so careless with their words, but we do have to take heart that you do inspire us! You have exposed me to so many great interior designers and photographers and I even bought the shirt from Chicos you mentioned!
I like to read psychology blogs for motivation, especially Gordon Livingston. I hope you keep this up as long as you can and you can always let people know that they can choose to not read your blog. :)

Susan Teeple said...

Heather-
I can't tell you how much I enjoy your blog and you are totally right about negative people and nasty comments - I"m glad you take the risk, are polite and put it out there. You are a gracious and talented person.

Sincerely,
Susan Teeple
Amarillo, TX

Kathryn said...

Kindness is sadly under-practiced, and I suppose that no matter how thoughtfully you write about it, people will continue to be unkind. Just know that, as a blogger, you're not alone in this experience or in feeling this way. And remember that what Sally says about Susie says more about Sally than it does about Susie. And keep up the beautiful blogging!

Janet said...

Heather,

It is sad but very true that if you're doing something well, some people will exert all kinds of energy to pull you down.

I'm from the south, and my mama always told me never to stoop to that sort of person's level. Oh, but it can be tempting. Melissa is right that in the end, you just pity the person who can't bask in someone else's joy.

That person needs to take Elsie de Wolfe's words to heart: Be pretty if you can, be witty if you must, but be gracious if it kills you.

Megone said...

Your blog is so wonderful and I look forward to a new post everyday!! Yours is the only design blog I read, and hope you keep posting!!! Don't let the haters get you down!!!

LR said...

I don't comment that often, but I check out your blog quite regularly. I always look forward to your posts!

Creative Choices Interior(s) said...

I am new to blogging as of this week. And while, I may be new to this end of it, I am not new to the many of you that I have been following.

While reading your blog post today so mant things went through my mind (that's scary in itself)but seriously, I have already had fears of harsh criticism from readers. Each time I ahve read a blog where the Blogger would share a not so nice comment left to them, I would think wow, I don't know if I can do this.

Now I am not going to preach the Bible, but God, our Savior is my only driver. And recently I have been reading a book by Rick Warren entitled The Purpose Driven Life. Well just this morning the chapter I was reading was on this very same thing!! God shape us all to do his work and as long as youare serving Him you are doing what you are expected to do.

Warren also stated that Jesus was constantly criticized and I don't think too many can argue that. My point is this: There is only one person (2 with you) that know what is in your heart and how you are trying to serve and help others.

So at risk of putting myself out there Who Cares what others say? You are offering something to your readers that is inspiring, fun and unique and if these individulas don't like it then they don't need to return to your blog!

You continue as your are and if and when I receive Hard Criticism, I will remember my words to you!

(Man I hope I spelled everything right . . .hmmmmmmmmmmmmm) oh hwo kares!!!

Stay strong,
Chlvie

Colleen said...

There are always going to be people who will try to knock you down because they are jealous and unhappy with themselves! Don't let them bring you down! You're blog is a daily stop for me to check to see what you've added, and I don't care if you misspell a word or two! :)

Pierre said...

your blog makes me more than happy every morning the minute i wake up!
keep up the good work u inspire me...

Patricia from Montreal said...

Dear Heather,

I'm a decorator in Montreal (city that you should visit and would certainly fall in love with...), and your blog is one of my favorites. I love your positivity and curiosity.

My heart sank for you when I read your post today. But Albert Einstein said the most important decision we make is whether we believe we live in a friendly or hostile universe. I vote for friendly. Who's with me? :)

You're a delight. Keep shining!
Patricia

Modern Country Lady said...

Dearest Heather, all I can say after all these supportive comments from all these lovely and articulate people before me is- take heart, and look how much you are loved, appreciated, respected and how much your blog is enjoyed.
I know there may sometimes be something inside ourselves that makes us listen more to negative comments instead of ignoring them.There is a lot of pettiness in this world, and a lot of envy.I think you are the writer of a gorgeous blog, I and many others love what you do,( I adored your pictures of your outfits when you went on a holiday :-)- your appartment looks fabulous and now you have even the exciting news of a book coming out.Forget the bad! Think only of the joyful and good!
Wishing you a wonderful rest of the weekend.
XOXO
Bea

Carol Jones said...

Good morning Heather from rural Australia.

Add me to your list of people who you make very happy. Habitually Chic is in my RSS reader along with 21 other business blogs. I click on your blog first thing every morning. And you never disappoint.

Unfortunately, criticism is part of the territory when you become famous. It's never easy to shrug off. And almost always hurts. Trolls lead such meaningless lives, hurting others compensates for their own inadequacies.

There's much to admire about you. Especially your honesty. Your get up and go. Your chutzpah. Your sense of humour. And your uniqueness.

I'm addicted to your tweets when you're out and about in New York City. The city I was born in and where I spent my childhood. You're also part nostalgia for me.

Don't stop blogging. Never give in to lesser people. But you are allowed your down days. Everyone needs to stop. Reflect. And recharge.

You are an inspiration.

Take care,

Carol

Carol Jones
AKA Ironing Diva on Twitter
A devoted follower

Finuca - The Pursuit of Refined Aesthetic said...

These are unhappy people who cannot stand the accomplishments of others. The best revenge is to be successful and happy!

Keep Calm and Carry On!

Cheers!

Finuca

Jess in oz said...

I think sometimes the mean comments come from a jealousy of others opening their worlds to the public.

Yours is one if the blogs that have inspired me to start my own and while I'm still fiddling and trying to get it right before I go live, I only just wrote a draft post about the chic people of the world that just seem to 'have it.'

You are one of those people!!! Nevermind the rest.

I fell in love with so many if your posts. Sharing your cruise, inspiring me with the Amsterdam apartment, and even making me jealous with your paper and ribbon drawer!! I hang out for the next edition from the other side of the world!

Well done you

penelopebianchi said...

I adore your blog!
What creeps!

You are obviously one of everyone's favorite blogger!

I never miss your posts!!!

lynngweeny said...

Don't let the haters win...concentrate on the good!

penelopebianchi said...

There is a sign in front of Shakespeare and
company in Paris (the best bookstore)

It says: "Be not inhospitable to strangers lest they be angels in disguise"

Pretty darn good. I agree with Tara Dillard (one of the first comments) about this and everything else , it seems!

Anonymous said...

I recently found your blog and you helped me through a tough time with your beautiful words and pictures. I was dealing with a job loss, sick family member and a major time sensitive home remodeling all at once. Not fun but you were a ray of sunshine in a bleak time. I have found people who act like that are simply jealous. Please continue for yourself and those who truly appreciate your work as trying to make the world a lovelier place.

Lindsay Cresta said...

I have read your blog for a while and I think you are great! You are a very talented designer and an inspiring blogger. If you weren't I wouldn't read you every day and you are in my top 10 :) Keep doing what your doing and who cares what anyone thinks! Us New Yorks are tougher than that!!!

LOVED said...

I love your blog Heather, since I found it I read it daily and have been inspired by your ability to put yourself out there and start my own blog. As a jewellery maker of 20 years I'd like to say that there will always be people who don't like your work or what you do or what you say and you have to decide that what you do is yours to express how you please and ignore them because it is NEVER about you only them.x Keep inspiring.

Karen of Fair Oaks said...

Dearest Heather,
Isn't it amazing how all of your fans come out of the woodwork to let you know how much we appreciate your work? And we are just the tip of the iceberg - there's so many more who read but don't comment. As others have noted, your blog is the first thing up in the morning, to go along with coffee, and it's something we look forward to.
Many thanks!

Anonymous said...

I love your blog, check it religiously every day and can't wait to see how your book turns out.
I had no idea you were going through an uninspired time, otherwise I would have mentioned how much I love your work a few weeks ago when you visited the store I manage on East 81st St.
JVM

Anonymous said...

Heather,
Thank you so much for your lovely, inspirational blog. I read it every morning before I get out of bed (iPhone in bed, I know, so bad!), so I can start each day with something wonderful! Thank you for sharing so much with all your fans and followers! -- Louisa

Danielle said...

I read your blog almost every day. It's my favorite design blog and you've given me tons of inspiration as I've decorated my new home over the past year.

I've never commented before, but I think I'm long overdue in saying thank you so much for all your hard work!

Your new apartment looks fantastic! Can't wait to see more.

Danielle

Suzy said...

I second what everyone else said. Keep up the great work, and congrats on the book, can't wait to see it!

Fashion-isha said...

This blog post came at just the perfect time for me. I too was feeling really down about fashion-isha...a few things happened that just made me feel really bad about myself and uninspired. I questioned why I'm doing what I'm doing (a blog on modest fashion and design with a little more depth and substance and the point being seeing the beauty and finding happiness in every little thing). Your blog does the same (without the fashion and just better!) and is one of my absolute favorites and a true inspiration to me. And just by reading your post I see you are a beautiful person with the same type of values! So happy to have met you here online and please don't stop posting you're magnificent and inspiring pictures. Never stop striving to be the best! You deserve it!
xo
Sharon
www.fashion-isha.com

Courageous Designs said...

Way to go Heather. I so agree with you. My mother taught me at a very early age that "if you don't have anything nice to say just keep your mouth shut" her words precisely. I live by those words today. I often say to each there own. Beauty is indeed in the eye of the beholder and what someone else may love I may not like but that doesn't mean I have to let it be known in a mean way. Thank you for this post. I love your blog by the way.

Anonymous said...

I don't ever comment, but I love your blog! Why on earth are people so concerned about an occasional typo or grammar error? If these readers are so worked up by this stuff, why do they keep reading?! I think you're just fabulous, keep up the wonderful and inspiring posts!!
K.H.

Winston said...

What do you do when life throws you lemons? Make lemonade! I'll imagine myself in one of those beautiful apartments filled with gorgeous flowers and get drinks from a stylish bar cart - all that can be found found in your blog! Habitually Chic is always a party, and I look forward to going every day. I believe it's so easy nowadays to pass judgment and make negative comments about anything, but reading your blog everyday makes it happen less and less. I always feel like I have a friend. A friend who understands, cares, feels, and enjoys all the beauty in life, and how we can incorporate that beauty in so many ways. Chanel said dress badly they remember the dress, dress impeccably and they remember the woman. For me I will always remember, and take with me all the beauty you share that so many people forget.

Chic Tidbits said...

Great post. I love reading your blogs everyday. It's one of the first things I do in the morning - coffee and habitually chic :)
I hope that you keep inspired and don't let a few simple-minded, rude people get to you. You have inspired me. Thanks!

Bob said...

Heather, after reading you closing quote from Plato, I was moved to read all the comments about you and your blog.

You are loved by your readers, and your blog inspires us.

ALL we mortals can do for mean spirted people is to forgive them, and pray for them. And then forget them!

I am so sorry you have been critically attacked. My very best to you! Bob & HPD

Irene Turner said...

I'm so pleased for you that you are getting your book published. As a writer who is in process with 2 books at the same time...you are an inspiration...and I do LOVE your blog. You are one who has inspired me to keep going with mine!
Congratulations.
Irene Turner
Little Bits of Beauty™

Carl Barnett said...

Do what you do. Be who you be. Nelson Mandella once said "let your light shine". Perspective. Chin up.

Anonymous said...

I can't believe how rude people can be. I have been enjoying your blog for a long time although was never "polite" enough to leave a "Thank you" comment. So here it is. Thanks you for all the inspiring entries you kindly shared. Sanna from Hong Kong

J.A. said...

I am a professional journalist and I could care less if a blog has a grammar mistake or typo --newspaper and magazine articles go through at least two rounds of editing and proofreading before they are published. Everyone knows that bloggers do not have this assistance, yet some readers insist on pointing out tiny errors like thsi one. I call it wielding the red pen -- certain people love to "wield the red pen." Perhaps if they created something themselves, they would have less time to fret about the mistakes of others.

Love Habitually Chic! Blog on, please.

Greg Hamilton-Smith said...

Dear Heather,

Like so many other of your avid followers / friends, cannot start the day without first checking out your incrediable blog and getting inspired to get through the day.

I must confess this is the first time i have ever left a comment, but after reading your blog, I felt compelled to add my "voice" to the many others. I think you do a sterling job and to keep up the awesome work.

I am an interior designer from Cape Town, South Africa and understand how easy it is to criticize other peoples work, but agree with you when you say "each to his own".

Apologises for the rambling, but keep up the awesome work

Regards
Greg Hamilton-Smith

Kim @ In a State of Luxe said...

Thank you for this post today. I can't tell you how perfectly timed it is for me and where's I'm at with my feelings about blogging right now. You blog is inspirational and pure class. Please don't stop!

Mrs. de Winter said...

Great post, as usual in Habitually Chic. I understand you as a blogger, but I have always enjoyed your posts, and I have found great inspiration for my own house in your blog, that I read everyday, so keep posting Heather! And thank you.

carriesdesignmusings said...

You were a pioneer, a visionary. Very few people were doing this 4 years ago. You helped pave the way for bloggers that came after you. That's a wonderfully, impressive thing. You created something out of nothing. Think of it this way; the more people are unkind (because of their own issues, having NOTHING to do with you), the more successful you are becoming. Every time others see someone doing something that they themselves cannot do and doing it successfully, their 1st inclination is to knock them. It's really quite sad. Think of them (or don't) every time you are at some fabulous party or mingling with the movers and shakers that you are now one of. Be proud!

Emily said...

I can't tell you the number of times that I have logged on to my computer in the morning and smiled because I see you have posted something new. I have also found more blogs to read, places to go and ideas that I would have never known about from your blogs. While I may not love everything that you highlight, I appreciate that I have the opportunity to learn and challenge my perspective.

Plus, I love your wardrobe choices and i share yout affection for marble topped dressers:)

I look forward to seeing more from you and I am excited for your future book publication.

Emi said...

Please don't stop - I have only just discovered your blog recently, but am already completely hooked. An Aussie stay at home Mum, living in Hong Kong, thoroughly enjoys escaping into the "world of chic" via your blog!

Joanna said...

Well said! We all need to be reminded sometimes that "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."

I give you and so many other bloggers credit for putting yourselves "out there" every day. I'm sure it can't always be easy to do so.

Congratulations on your book and your new home. I wish you all the best and please keep it up. I look forward to receiving your posts.

SHERRY HART said...

Well said Heather. I can never understand why people feel the need to be unkind. As a designer...you take a huge risk publishing your own home...but as we all know design in subjective so you will never please everyone. Carry on girl.....

AnnieC said...

Every morning with my cup of coffee I enjoy your blog, first -- way before I'm able to face the news of the day.

It makes me smile -- and dream about beautiful places and people.

Keep up the good work and ignore the haters!

domesticgoddess said...

Hello Heather, I live in Manila and subscribe to your blog. The feed comes in about 5pm our time every single day and whether I am a the grocer, at home in bed with my daughters or in the car, I always treasure the five minutes a day I have all to myself to read your blog. It has inspired me in so many ways. Your sense of style, confidence and business acumen is quite impressive and I have started writing for myself and for local magazines because of you. Let not others deter you from the great things you have yet to do. Alicia

Sally Steponkus said...

Hi Heather,
I rarely post comments on blogs but felt so strongly after reading today's post that I just had to.

I too had someone remark on a blog about me recently... It wasn't about my work but a reader relayed some completely incorrect info about me- something I would never say or do - and it was heartbreaking. It is awful to be misrepresented. But the affect was the same and I'm so sorry you felt that way.

Your work is lovely and your blog a joy to read- one of my daily favorites. Keep up the good work. Chin up, dear :)

Best,
Sally Steponkus

jayneonweedstreet said...

Your blog is one of the best and that is why you have so many devoted readers. The fact that those rude comments were taken to heart, just shows how much heart you have! And it also shows that there are sad people out there , who feel the need to speak their mind, even knowing it may hurt someone. I am all for constructive criticism, but rude and nasty have no place in a civil world - just keep on doing exactly what you are doing - we all love it!
And LOVE your new apartment - you have a great eye and design sense and we thank you for bringing us your ideas and thoughts!

Anonymous said...

You are amazing. Your blog is always beautiful and inspiring. It seems that you have navigated your way through recent rudeness to find a deeper meaning. Thank you for sharing your talent.

Tracey Jackson said...

Heather ~ I'm a blogger too and have just completed a six month book tour. I am been feeling exactly the same thing, why bother doing this every day? Someone corrected my grammar, insulted me, (more than usual) and I was just seeing fewer clicks and comments. But then I too got a a few emails of how much people liked it and it was a part of their day and I thought Oh, OK, I must keep this going. And because of my blog I was connected to a little girl in England who was dying of cancer at 15 and that put it all in perspective.
But I don't think people who don't blog understand how much we put into it, and there are so many times we just want to read a book, or take a walk or do nothing, but we have to feed the beast and blog.
And the summer does not help.
I enjoy your blog and it is one of the few I read daily. And as I wrote in a blog the other day, "Don't talk to the trolls." There will always be people who are too lazy or uninspired to do what you do, so they would rather criticize.
Tracey Jackson

Lynn in NC said...

Yours was my first blog and started my addiction to what my husband calls girl porn! HC is still one of my favorites and I get excited when I see it on my email list. You have become so popular that of course you will have some criticism but please don't let it get you down. Most of us love you and those mean folks probably don't get much love in their lives. Keep up the awesome work!

Anonymous said...

I am amazed at all of you young women who share your lives and passions with all of us. I find it fascinating with the bravery it takes to allow us into your world. You've just learned a very valuable life lesson...everyone is fighting some kind of battle and that kindness will always be remembered. It will carry you far in life.Don't let people you don't even know shape your blog or your life, for they don't matter. Please continue to share your interests with us....our worlds are more interesting because of it!

Deborah said...

Keep mispelling yur words...I luv your authenticity! Keep it up. I love your blog.

phoebes in santa fe said...

Heather, it's easy for a blog reader to sit at a keyboard and anonymously criticise a blog or a column. And that's the problem you face as a blogger. Just try to take it in stride; you're obviously doing something right to make a reader react, in whatever manner.

I'm 60 and have been a reader for about a year now. I'm probably older than most of your readers, but I find something interesting almost everyday. I do forward your blog to my daughter-in-law - who is your "target" - with comments that she'd like "this" or "that" in the column that day. She's a big J Crew fan and is very clever in her decorating and basic daily life.

So cheer up. At least people ARE reading your blog and that's more than most bloggers can claim.

Anonymous said...

Your blog gives me great pleasure. I read it daily, even before I run off to a very stressful job! Your taste, creativity and eye for beauty is really appreciated here by this reader. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and know you are bringing beauty and joy to many!!

Sherri Blum, CID said...

Heather- I've been in your shoes daily for the past 12 years I've been in the interior design and product design business. I've got competitors who spend too much of their time putting me down rather than focusing on growing their own business. I've made a conscious decision to never let them know they've gotten to me- never reply or return nasty comments, despite the repeated attempts to sabotage my companies and my good name. You've got to continue to do what you do with passion and integrity and let them systematically bring THEMSELVES down...NOT YOU! I haven't met you, yet I adore you- and of all the blogs, yours is the ONLY one that I subscribe to and read daily. You're talented, generous and down to earth. A special mix in this business where many get so high on their success that they become pretentious. Remember this quote by Bill Cosby when people start talking negatively: "I don't know the key to success but the key to failure is to try to please everyone." Keep doing what you do so well...the large majority of us LOVE IT AND LOVE YOU FOR IT!

Lynne of Sweet Lady Cakes said...

My adult daughter introduced me to your blog about a year ago and we often talk to each other on-line about how great this or that was throughout any given week. We both read your blog every morning and look forward to receiving it! The 80/20 rule comes into effect here. 80% of people are obviously loving what you do and want you to continue...20% will never be happy anyway, so don't worry about them! It's just too bad that 20% are the squeaky wheels! Try to let the 80% be your inspiration to continue!!!

Lynne from Toronto, Canada.

Louise said...

I love your blog - so please keep it up! It is often the last thing I look at or read before going to bed, and is just a treat. Don't take the criticism to heart!

Kind regards
Louise

Anonymous said...

Heather -- Why do we listen to the very few bad comments and ignore all the great ones in our lives? I don't know -- high achievers are wired to do that, I guess. I'm like that, too. Your post really hit a nerve with me today.

The earlier "oh grow up" comment was so harsh. Did you leave it up as an example? Why would someone take the trouble to write something like that? Grow up. Why -- to be like that person? No thanks. What ever happened to civility and empathy? And basic good manners?

Please know how much your work is valued and enjoyed. I am a writer -- not a blogger -- but I have a two-headed beast of 2 books plus other work (the kind that pays the bills)that demand attention every day. I know what kind of discipline it takes to stare at the blank screen and come up with something good, day after day.

Keep going. You're great. Ignore the losers who find fault or say cruel things like "grow up". Don't honor the harsh words by incorporating them into your life or your view of yourself.

Thank you for your wonderful work.

Anonymous said...

Keep up the GREAT work!
You are fabulous, your blog is fabulous and you have a great eye and great taste. I so enjoyed seeing the great design in your new apartment and I so enjoy your blog in general.

I have learned that there are always going to be "haters" out there and to me it's mainly becuase they are jealous..eg..this comes on the tails of your book announcement.
I feel sorry for those who have nothing better to do than point out others mistakes...life is too short for perfect grammar!
Wishing you only the best of everything Heather..you are going places!

allison said...

Heather...I just wanted you to know how much I enjoy your blog. I hope you will continue to share images of your new home and know that many of us treasure the opportunity to get to know you. I am a blogger as well and it is hard to put yourself out there. We blog about these over the top beautiful spaces that have been contrived for the camera. I think readers assume we live this way as well. I remember seeing a comment from the editor of elle decor that she keeps her spaces private for that very reason. I had a similar experience to you receiving a negative comment and wanting to give up blogging. That same day I saw a friend that told me she reads my blog to her best friend when she takes her for her bi-weekly chemo treatments...she said it is the bright spot of their visit. You write beautifully and always have something interesting to share. Keep it up...I am reading!

Habitually Chic said...

THANK YOU! I have been overwhelmed in a good way but all the kind comments and emails. I am trying to reply but if I don't get to you all, I want to let you know that I appreciate your support and encouragement.

As a New Yorker, I like to think I have a thick skin but sometimes there is only so much a person can take. When those moments happen, I will come back here and read these comments and all the emails to remind me of all the good left in the world.

I originally wrote this post in the hopes that someone reading it would think twice before writing a rude comment to anyone. I have been doing this for four years and I do try to ignore the negativity as much as possible but I can imagine some new bloggers wanting to give up too soon. It's kind of like that commercial that says "it gets better." And it does!

Thank you again!

XOXO,

Heather

Meagen said...

I love your blog and think that it is a happy place full of some of the most beautiful pictures I have seen. It takes courage to put your inspiration out into the world. Please don't lose that ;)

CB said...

I wish you didn't have to deal with such things, but having a good attitude about it is really the best any of us can do. Keep doing what feels right and is fun. (Or at least seems like a good idea -- since running a business is not at all easy and frequently isn't fun).

Nothing but the best for you.

diane said...

blogland is like any other society...you have some good ones and you have some bad ones. And everyone is fighting to stay alive. I have noticed that we in blogland always want the positive comments and get very upset or dont respond to those others. I dont want to be all touchy feely all the time because I appreciate CONSTRUCTIVE criticism, as you do. All that being said, I dont understand rudeness of any sort and, yes, it is easy to hide behind an anonymous title but if they think they are right, why not come right out and say it. If we had those answers we would have the answer to world peace! In the meantime, continue to keep blogging, try to avoid spelling and grammatical errors (prevalent in blogland) (is prevalent spelled correctly?) and know that there are hundreds out there who appreciate and enjoy what you deliver.

Anonymous said...

Illegitimi non carborundum. (Don't let the bastards grind you down!)

Mia P. said...

I read your blog almost every day, and I think it's terrific. Does that mean I love every little thing you post? No, but I respect you and your point of view, and that's what keeps me coming back for more. It's tough when people use the anonymity of the internet to indulge their worst instincts. You rarely read, for example, an obviously racist comment with a real name attached---people hide behind online handles and "anonymous" to dump on others.

Unfortunately, that is part of the territory for all of us who participate on the internet. Everyone's a critic. I think people are so accustomed to making fun of celebrities or reality show people that they forget the rest of us ARE people---people who have feelings and bad days and egos that get bruised. It sure is easy to fling darts at others when you don't put yourself out there as a target! It's sad that "snark" has been elevated to wit in our culture---everyone thinks they're Dorothy Parker when in reality they're just another Real Housewife.

Part of success is dealing with jealousy. It can be a public rude comment or a colleague who suddenly turns chilly. Sad, but I try to concentrate on the many people who genuinely support me.

I hope you keep blogging!! And I think in a few days you will realize that this is just a bunch of noise made by a bunch of pathetic, petty people that you can easily ignore. This heat is driving all of us nuts!

Best of luck and much support!!


Mia

Kristin said...

Simply put...well written, well said. I really enjoy your blog since I recently discovered it. Each time it appears in my in-box it's like a little shiny present....waiting to be opened.

Mary said...

It does take courage to share your talent and spirit and ideas, and everyone who enjoys your blog appreciates your hard work. It also takes kindness and a real concern for other people to do what you do, which is to create a beautiful, comfortable atmosphere for yourself and your clients and your audience, so we can all enjoy life a little more. It reminds me of what Ruth Reichl wrote about M.F.K. Fisher: "When you read her you understand that you need to respect yourself enough to focus on the little things of life. She celebrates the everyday by making it seem momentous."

Mary

Anonymous said...

As a "burned out" interior decorator, I feel your pain. Keep up your good work, and forget the unhappy people out there who attempt to bring down others to their own miserable lives....go girl, Gayle

Anonymous said...

I def agree with you on your post, but we all have been guilty of putting our opinions out there and thinking it's important. I always would caution about Twitter too...sometimes it can make "us" all look a little unsufferable. I have seen disparaging comments made by you and other bloggers via twitter regarding people on the street, tourists and celebrities and they all have not been kind. I really do appreciate you taking the risk and sharing your creativity though. I enjoy your talent and insight. Take Care!

Maureen Sullivan Stemberg, Interiors said...

Well said: Heather! I have been a fan of yours from day one. Your blog is the first ONE I open every morning. You and your blog is always a delight to read. You give 100% to every article. As a designer for over 25 years and a former editor for design and fashion for a magazine in PBeach...I couldn't imagine in this day and age having to put up an article once a day. Not just any article...An article that educates us, keeps us in the know and makes us all smile.
You work so hard and just know we all appreciate your efforts and greatly admire your talents.

When all is said and done remember...YOU ARE THE HABITUALLY CHIC WOMAN!!!

Sunday Taylor said...

I was very moved by what you wrote. Especially the part about your friend's illness. As you said, that put everything in perspective. The quote from Plato is beautiful and filled my eyes with tears. It is so true.

Jan McGill said...

I have to say, this post made me really sad for you, because it is so unfair. Yours is the only blog I am happy to open my computer to every day, simply because it's clear you are here to pass on beauty, and to inspire. There is nothing about you that mean-spirited armchair amateurs could ever understand, because they don't have an artists eye, or soul, or they would not do so.

You have your head and your heart in the right place. There are so many of us who really love what you see and say, and have the generosity to pass on.

I have a style blog, and the only person I have ever re-posted on either my blog or on my personal or public Facebook pages is you. And in real life, I get paid for my opinion. So please, dear Heather, carry on, and don't worry about those who have much less than you.

Grammar correction. Phfeww! What a joke.

All the best, Jan McGill

www.thestylexpert.blogspot.com

The Hidden List said...

It breaks my heart when other's words cause so much undeserved pain. I read your posts daily and love it! You inspire me and have helped me be a better blogger. Don't listen to those who can't keep their negativity to themselves. You are beautifully made and are an inspiration! XO!

Linda @ a design snack said...

Heather,

I read your blog first thing every morning, sometimes before coffee (and that's saying a lot). It is a day brightener and I love it.

Anonymous critics are cowards. And there are bona fide nasty people out there.

Here's something I learned that is applicable in many situations: those unfortunate souls had the choice to be nice, constructive, diplomatic, gracious; instead those chose to be nasty, cowardly, rude. Don't take it personally, they probably treat everyone badly, and their dog doesn't like them either. When I'm feeling gracious I tell myself they're having a bad day, maybe they just got fired, the baby was up all night. Occassionally the grace is absent and I assume they are just flat out ignorant, regardless of their level of education. Don't waste any emotional energy on them, ignore them.

And to everyone out there who wants to be an editor and correct grammar and punctuation: get a life, better yet, be constructive, send copies of "The Grammar of Alistair Barnstable" to those bloggers you feel compelled to correct. Read it yourself first.

Heather, you and your blog are a daily dose of inspiration.

Best,
Linda Pakravan

Jess Dunne said...

Don't let anyone bring you down! You have an amazing eye, and bring beauty into your readers lives!

Anonymous said...

I really enjoy your blog. Your content feels fresh and inspiring. Please do keep it up.

VeraGirl said...

I look forward to your blog everyday! Habitually Chic has been a great inspiration for me while my boyfriend and I put together our first apartment together! Keep it up! Olivia

Anonymous said...

Heather, your blog is the first one I ever bookmarked MANY moons ago. Since then, many "favorite" blogs have come and gone. Yours remains because of the beautiful photography, your comments, the professional looking layout AND you always have something new and fresh to post. If you're going to be away for awhile, you let readers know. That's very important too. I think you're great! Keep up the good work!

Anonymous said...

It is very sad but those people are out there you just have to step over those folks and move FORWARD!!! continue doing the work YOU LOVE!
all the best!

Lisa

Marissa said...

I adore your blog, you have great taste!

kayce hughes said...

So well said. I am so sorry that you have had to deal with rude people. We have to deal with them every once in a while and it always shakes me up. Then I always think how sad for the husband or child of a person who lives life like that.

I enjoy your blog and your positive out look.
kayce

Gretchen said...

Wow. What a low blow, for people to comment on your spelling, or other trite garbage. As an editor, erros bother me, but so often, I find it is the computer's ato correct feature that messes up, not the writer, and anyway, that is definitely not why I visit your site. Daily. I may not always like what you post, but I love the dedication you put forward, and am awed by the scope of what you present. On top of your normal, everyday life. And while I don't know you at all, I root for your new apartment, envy your eBay and flea finds, and, like any close friend or sister, wish I had your hair and your dad's watch! No one can control what others think about us, nor, sadly, what they say. Be yourself, do what you enjoy, and great things...like your upcoming book, and your client base, will come to you. My one and only other comment I ever posted was to call you to task for leading a post with a smoker, which, I thought, went completely against your standard of truly thoughtful, lovely images that had been well-considered. To hear people slam you for stupid stuff, like spelling, is unconscionable.

BestofDesign said...

Wonderful post, Heather---it is too bad when someone has to get their power from nitpicking what you have worked hard to put out there for others. I do think, esp. in blogging, that anyone with alot of negativity should just send you a personal message (or, better yet, move on to something else in their lives) vs. posting it for the world to see...Most of us are reading and writing blogs to communicate ideas not to "grade" others' works...I've learned alot from your blog as I am sure the rest of your readers have---keep up the good work! Maybe you should save an especially great message from someone and look at that when some of these nay-sayers login! xoox

Anonymous said...

Thank you for this post and for the beauty and happiness you contribute to the internet. I'm about to post my first blog and I have anxiety about what the feedback will be. Thank you for giving me courage!!

Carol Jones said...

Good morning again Heather from rural Australia.

It's not quite 6am in OZ and have read all the comments from your devoted followers. And am so pleased to see you standing on a foundation of unequivocal support.

I did see one comment that slightly alarmed me. This one from Anonymous:

Quote
I always would caution about Twitter too...sometimes it can make "us" all look a little unsufferable. I have seen disparaging comments made by you and other bloggers via twitter regarding people on the street, tourists and celebrities and they all have not been kind.
End Quote

This is part of your charm for me on Twitter. You don't use names. But you do tell it like it is. And is why I often retweet you. As do others.

Hopefully you will still be tweeting with your accustomed chutzpah and bare bones observations. It IS why I'm addicted to your tweets and often laugh out loud.

As an ex-New Yorker now living on a remote rural property in the Central Tablelands of NSW Australia, I follow your street walks with a passion. Your gift is to make me feel as if I'm walking beside you.

Here's to everything staying the same.

Best wishes and take care,

Carol

Carol Jones
AKA Ironing Diva on Twitter
http://twitter.com/IroningDiva

penelopebianchi said...

I love the line: "don't talk to the trolls"!

Modern Country Lady said...

Last night, when I read this post, there were 50 comments- and now 126 - and all so lovely and supportive- not just any old comment, but really thought through.Heather, you have a whole world out there of people who think the world of you- it is so heartwarming to read all the kindness and support- this alone should be a reason for you to take heart- which I am sure you do by now !!
Have a great week.Onwards and upwards, Habitually Chique :-))
XOXO
Bea

Anonymous said...

Wow! Sorry to read that about your experience, but very happy to know how you have handled it. To post or email unnecessary critiques shows nothing but mean spiritedness. Losers are going to be losers no matter what - it is just a shame that something as wonderful as the internet has also made a forum available for cowards to be awful towards others. I APRECIATE what you do and APPRECIATE you taking the time to share it with us. Best, Michael

Kassie said...

I have two bookmarks on my iPhone - news.com.au and Habitually Chic. Keep up the fantastic work. I am a huge fan of your blog in Australia. Your site is a warm place to visit, with beautiful posts. Don't let cold random people take you away from the people who truly enjoy what you have to say.

Anonymous said...

I just loved your thoughtful and much needed blog on being kind. My home was recently featured on another blog and I was taken aback by how incredibly cruel and vicious a few of the people have been. I didn’t mind the ones that pointed out my design faux pas…I’m not a professional and appreciated constructive criticism. , but there were a few people who brought out the claws and made assumptions without knowing anything about me. I hope they read your blog!
I have a whole new appreciation for those of you who put yourselves out there and bring such entertainment, education and enjoyment with your blogs. Yours is truly one of my favorites and I just wanted you to know that there are so many of us(imperfect people) out here who get so much from your work.
Thank you kindly,
Elizabeth

Jacqui said...

Hi Heather,

I never leave comments but I just wanted to say how much I enjoy your blog . My interest has waned for some blogs but yours is the first I open when I see it in my inbox. I live in rural Australia and through your blog I can connect with what is going on "out there"! Last year I completed a course in design and your blog helped me enormously. The images you post are inspiring and your generosity with your time in doing this is really heart warming. Please don't let the rude people get you down. Know that there are so many people who follow your blog every day and really appreciate you.

Isn't It Lovely Vintage said...

Don't let the haters get you down, they are not worth your energy! And my prayers to your friend...

Ali said...

People are jealous of you & your success. They are carrying their own baggage, and try to off load a little onto you. Shrug, and keep posting. I check you blog everyday, from Sydney, Australia, and it's delightful. You inspire me, and because of you, I dream of New York. I can't wait to see the new place!

simple mama said...

I absolutely love your blog, your honesty and the time you take to share your thoughts. I'm just a single mom who wishes of someday having a blog, found twitter as an outlet in the meantime. Congrats on the book deal, hope you continue to keep blogging love reading your posts!!!

Stephanie Koukoullis said...

I think your blog is fantastic! You have a great writing style, refreshing and upbeat, and your photos are always inspirational. Thanks for providing a daily dose of chic.

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry this happened to you! People can be so needlessly cruel.

I love your blog; it has sparked an immense love of design in me and your viewpoint is so well edited and inspirational! Please don't ever stop writing!

Oh, and invite me to your book party when it comes out here in NY ;) I can't wait to scoop it up!

sandrajonas.com said...

Heather, There is not much to add to all the above comments, but let me say my day would not be as rich without 'Habitually Chic' I get excited everytime you appear in my mail box.
Keep up the good work.

Veronika said...

As a blogger, I've gotten my fair share of horrible comments. I too cannot fathom how someone has the time and energy to read something they don't like and then to comment on that extensively...I just don't have that kind of time in my life and when I don't like something I just exit out of the website.

I think people who leave mean comments on blogs are looking for a reaction and looking to stir up controversy. I try not to engage in it anymore. It's just not worth my time. I also moderate my comments because then I have control over what appears on my blog.

The enchanted home said...

Just read through this and thoroughly enjoyed it AND it so resonated with me. I am a newbie, have been at it for 7 months and have been so fortunate to gain quite a substantial following in that time. As I continue to shape who I am and what my blog represents and at times "put myself out there" I started to get an occasional mean spirited email directly to me, from "well meaning" readers. One totally furious with me because I deviated from my normal design and decor heavy posts to post about my 36 pet peeves, one of my most popular posts to date. Yes she was MAD at me and let me know it! Another furriously berated me for showing a beautiful hunt scene in VA. and sent me a lengthy email about how I hated animals and what kind of example i am setting for my kids, and get this....she was giving me ONE MORE CHANCE and was "letting that slide". Can you imagine! I politely wrote her back and said I learned a long long time ago, you cannot be all things to all people. She did write back and apologize but the damage was down.
I think your blog is fabulous....have come here off and on for a few years, WAY before I even knew what a blog was.....lol.
You in my eyes are one of the pioneers who paved the way for all of us newer bloggers and in return even for the average person to be able to leave comments and interact with the bloggers. Keep it up...I love what you are doing and it appears you have a lot of company!

Annie Loveridge Interiors said...

What lovely, genuine and kind things people have said here. Thanks for your honest words as I spend a lot of time doubting my ability and look to successful people like you and 'assume' you have no self doubt at all! Funny how we view other people isn't it? Words do hurt and I'm sorry for your experience. I guess not everybody will cheer your success. Your blog is fabulous, your work talented and it's lovely to see how many people care enough to write and let you know the same. Annie x.

Elizabeth said...

Your blog is fabulous, as so many have commented. I do not know why someone would take the time to write mean things.

There are so many more important things in people's lives, births, illness, death, foreclosures, etc. Remember that you are true to yourself and that is all that matters. At the end of the day knowing that your blog makes your friend happy, and so many others, is what it is all about.

Princess and the Peace said...

Having just started my own blog I know it takes courage to put yourself out there every day. Keep doing what you're doing! I look forward to your posts every day!

Lori said...

Haters suck :) I also work in the design field and am always astounded by the lack of openess to others tastes and ideas. The true skill in design is helping others to realize their vision even if it isn't yours. Those with such a narrow view don't deserve an opinion.
Keep doing what you're doing - your success speaks for itself!

clustres said...

It does take courage to put yourself out there every day. I have been a follower of yours since I first started following blogs and subscribe to your email feed. People like you inspired me to write my own blog. It is so difficult to find enough time to comment on everyone's blog and I certainly wouldn't want to waste time writing mean things for no reason other than to be mean. This post makes me stop and think that perhaps we should all take more time to comment even if we feel our voices are so small, it doesn't matter. Everyone could use the encouragement!

Lexie said...

Lots of crazy/miserable/sadistic cretins out there and their nasty comments are really indicative of the kind of person they are and have absolutely nothing to do with you. Still, I know it must hurt. Most likely, it is actually a kind of jealousy.

But you are fabulous Heather. I've only been reading your blog for a short time, but as a fellow-designer, I admire your passion and attention to exquisite detail, not to mention your fabulous taste and talent!

All my best ~ Lexie

(not my real name, because my blog is actually NOT a design blog-- lol and I only read a few of those, yours being one but actually more about (among other things) the kinds of idiots who would say anonymous, unwarranted, nasty comments to someone they don't know, just because they think they can. I dunno... this biz is so fraught with disaster-lol, I wouldn't want to tempt the design karma gods!)

Jeanne said...

Heather,
I have never posted a comment, but this blog is certainly worthy of a comment of PRAISE! I have so enjoyed and admired your posts for a couple of years. I am really impressed with your talent, knowledge and class. I believe in praising people to success and living by the Golden Rule: "treating others like you would like to be treated." We will be blessed if we make a special effort to encourage others every day.
I appreciate and respect your integrity in being forthcoming about unwarranted, rude comments and the great need for kindness towards all people. God bless you.

Cristin {Simplified Bee} said...

Just getting the chance to read this. It is amazing how critical and rude some people can be. It is also hard to not let it get to you. I love your last two quotes that put life into better perspective.

Also, many readers have no idea how much time goes into blogging. I think you have done an amazing job and know it is hard to keep up the pace year after year.

Hugs from San Francisco!

cristin

Anonymous said...

Dear Heather: I send you this comment from Spain in order to give you my gratitude for the best blog. It is the first thing that I do in the mornings with my coffee in one hand and the toast in the other. It is fresh, positive, polite and without greed or envy. I enjoy a lot the reading and preparing me for the rest of the day. As I say to my sons: "Keep on going". Thanks again,
P.S. Via Amazon I will be the first in my country that can read your lovely book

penelopebianchi said...

This is such a great comment! I have just started blogging; and it makes such a difference when people comment. Otherwise....it is like speaking to "space"!

I so appreciate all comments.....and I am so blessed....no mean ones so far,

My friend Brooke, (Velvet and Linen) "launched" me by talking about me....and encouraging me; and I am still such a new person. my assistant who knew how to work blogs quit; (very amiably) but here I am with great pictures....unable to post the darn thing!

However, no one has been unkind.......so far. It is putting yourself out there. Heather......you are one of my absolute favorites as I have said....

I think you have set a record for supportive posts......it , is astonishing......and I hope this will send a message to all bloggers.....keep up the good work! "don't talk to the trolls"!

BRAVO!!!

Penelope

k.e.b. said...

I never comment on the blogs that I read, but felt very compelled to do so after reading your last entry. I subscribe to a handful of blogs, but your blog is the one that I make sure to read every day. It’s become somewhat of a morning ritual for me – a way to start off my day. Your heartfelt entry today made me realize why.
It is because of the fact that you are always positive, present things in such a lovely and well-thought out way, and are relatable. I’m in the process of trying to make a career change into a more creative career and am inspired by what you post and how you are willing to share your ideas with strangers you’ve never met.
There is so much negativity and hatred in our world right now. I believe that we can all collectively change this by choosing to be positive and loving in what we do and how we interact with the world and the people around us. Thank you for making an active choice to be one of those people. I just wanted to let you know that it hasn’t gone unnoticed.

penelopebianchi said...

I have to say......I have followed all these comments....Annie makes a great point......and so have all the others.......Are you seeing the support (I know you are) coming from every which way?

What a learning experience...(for me, at least) People read.....and don't comment.....(one of my best friends thinks she is commenting when she emails me back that she likes my post!)

This enormous outpouring of support is so touching. For you #1; but also for other bloggers.
Some people only hear the negative.....because those are the only people making comments!

Bloggers take heart! Habitually Chic......(long a leader.).....this painful experience is teaching our readers to make sure to praise the positive.......I hope they will.......we work really hard at this!

I hope that is true!!!

Penelope Bianchi

Laura said...

Greetings from London.
Thank you Heather for your dedicated blog. I am an artist and I look at your blog almost every day, it has educated me about different styles and periods of design and has often given me inspiration. I thank you for this. Best wishes, Laura

Jill Roberts Freeman said...

Just remember, "Happy People are not mean people!"
I too have been a target of nasty blog commentary and it really hurts. I LOVE your blog. Period, end of story. Keep it going lady!
Best,
jill Roberts

Frédérique Bonifaix said...

Très Chère Heather,

Well said, well expressed. Most of people share the same feelings and opinions as you do. Just to let you know I'm from France and really enjoy reading your blog for some years now. I learn a lot from you and alway enjoy seing beautiful photos and reading nice stories. keep on enchanting us.

Frederique

Shell Sherree said...

Heather, I haven't commented before but I've been reading your blog regularly for some time. I love following your journey, and the grace and unpretentious nature with which you share it. Thank you. PS: Your glasses rock.

Anna Spiro said...

Here Here! You are the best. I love your blog! This is a wonderful post and so true!
xo
Anna

Modern Country Lady said...

Crikey! You can't go wrong when Anna Spiro loves your blog!! It would make my week , so I am sure it will make yours.You are the best, Heather!
XOXO
Bea

Anonymous said...

I read your blog daily. Unfortunately Ive been under the weather since last week & am just now catching up. I LOVE your blog. I look forward to reading it every morning. Its part of my morning ritual of coffee & blogs. Those of us who love your blog outweight those who wish to critique. Continuing focusing on those of us what cant wait to see what you post next!

Kelly@Bungalow Blue said...

People who are too scared to put themselves out there for the world to see are usually the first ones to blast those that do. I LOVE your blog! Keep your head up :) Couldn't imagine the blog world without Habitally Chic!

CashmereLibrarian said...

Amen. And I can't wait to get your book! Love you, Heather!

Completely Classic said...

Lovely post. All the best to you and congratulations on your book deal. Wishing you continued success.

Vandy said...

Oh Heather! I just hate that rude people with no manners have made you doubt the wonderful things you bring to all of us-even for a minute. I deal with lots of rude people too and what I tell myself when a sour woman comes into my workplace, angry before she even opens her mouth, convinced that I am incompetent even before I open mine, is that it is her problem, not mine. How unhappy she must be. If she has made me so on edge and uncomfortable in an instant, she must go through life surrounded by people who dread seeing her, avoid returning her calls, and feel relief when she RSVP's "No". All I can do is have compassion. I mean, who wants to go through life like that?! Please focus on those of us who adore you without even knowing you! Let the rest slide.

kbd said...

I read a lot of blogs, with a wide interest. But yours is the only one I read every day. No matter what.

Vanessa said...

I look forward to what you have to say every day. I appreciate the time and effort you put into this and I have enjoyed and shared your ideas, pictures and words with so many of my friends. It is a big deal to put yourself out here every day, it is not for the faint of heart! So good for you! Life is hard enough, but to take it on and share the ups and downs is very brave. I appreciate your willingness to share your perspective with the world. Thank you!

Dorothy Durbin said...

I could not have said this better myself... One of the first lessons in College, in the Interior Design program, is, you may not like it but your client may. The world is filled with so many wonderful artists and designers all with their own style. We are free to take what we like and leave the rest. Restraint of tongue and pen is the other life lesson I have learned. You are the amongst the best Heather. Keep up the fabulous work. Dorothy

Style Maniac said...

Habitually Chic is one of the first blogs I ever read, and was one of the inspirations for beginning my own. How happy I am that your kind, positive outlook set such a high blogging standard in my mind. This post beautifully captures the reason you have so many loyal readers and have enjoyed such success.

TinaKhanInteriors said...

Your blog is an absolute pleasure to read and so uplifting.. especially in my part of the world, Pakistan, where so much political turmoil means we need our regular HC eye-candy fix to lift our spirits and inspire us!

Cant wait to see your upcoming book. Wish you all the best!

Sis Cesspool said...

Honey, you've got a book to write and I cannot wait to read it!!!!!

Pay no mind to these negative time sucks.

Cindy Nichols said...

I love your Blog and enjoy reading it along w/ a few others..Elements of Style, Slim Paley and a couple more. I live in Honolulu and I Love looking a beautiful
things and reading your ideas and thoughts. We don't have the home decor stores like many mainland towns. And this is like "vitual window shopping!"
I was reminded of the saying "those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter"....
I rarely comment but felt the need to "ditto" all your positive feedback...
Thank you, Cindy Nichols

Cindy Nichols said...

oh no!..I saw I misspelled Virtual on my comment...Yikes! I may get alot of nasty comments on my spelling!
There goes my blogging career! :) Cindy N,

The Chic Critic said...

I loooove your website. Habitually Chic is the ultimate in living style. Keep up the fab work.

The Chic Critic
http://the-chic-critic.blogspot.com/

Meg said...

I've never once commented and read regularly, your blog is my homepage. Thank you for your work, it's a bright spot in my day.

judith said...

Am late reading this post. Am so sorry you experienced negative comments. I have read this has happened to other bloggers also, not that this matters but you are not alone.
I too always read your blog and have found it so interesting, bright and informative. I am not young and have a daughter who lives in Manhattan and who has similar creative interests. Through reading your posts, I know you are a woman who is kind and one who has good old fashioned character. Keep up the good work and do not let the detracters distract you!

Rainwood said...

I just started reading your blog, and I love your sense of style and the wonderful world of style you bring to us every day.

Jan Weiss said...

I love your blog. Sometimes I feel like this world is so ugly, then I read Habitually Chic and you always find something beautiful to share. I have forwarded your posts many many times to friends because I thought it may brighten their day. Please keep doing what you are doing.

danielleboudrot said...

Hi Heather,
I just wanted to say thank you for inspiring me to start my blog...without you, I would not have had the courage or confidence to embark on this great adventure...you are always upbeat, positive and gracious...please continue to be yourself and know that you have truly inspired me! Thank you!
danielle

Karen said...

I love your blog!! I subscribe to so many (too many according to my hubby) but yours stands out - keep up the good work!!

Anonymous said...

hi heather, i sent you the "illegitimi quote. that was fun to see you repeat it in a post! glad you enjoyed it. it helped me.

the thing is, you have some celebrity now. see what seth godin says about celebrity:
http://www.typepad.com/services/trackback/6a00d83451b31569e201538ea8e4b7970b

lastly, mean spirited comments are from hurting people who are often a bit unconscious. or, the aim is to bug you, so the best is to not dignify it with a response! showing you were affected = success for them! that was their goal. however nonetheless you handled it well. you are trailblazing -- you're admired and I'm inspired!

Anonymous said...

oops, here's a better link to Seth Godin's post about celebrity:

http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/2011/07/one-definition-of-celebrity.html

katina turner said...

Bravo! Your blog is fantastic and brings so much joy to so many. You are a talent and a lady. I am looking forward to your book and wish you all the best.

Alicia said...

Everyone has different taste, everyone can disagree but nastiness is simply unacceptable. I always revert to 2 credos my Gran use to say.
Not every thought needs to be expressed.
Nasty is the main by-product of stupidity.
Naturally you'll be yourself: that will trump them in the end.
Alicia

penelopebianchi said...

what a great comment......and bravo to the bloggers and those of us who can and do write books!!

someone very wise said to me many years ago......"If you raise your head above the crowd....be prepared for someone to try to cut it off!"

Kinda the same thing..here...HC is not one of the top blogs in the world for no reason!

I suggest....and I mean suggest......that HB not publish "anonymous" comments....(.but many are friends! so there goes that idea!)

It is very heartwarming that so many people who follow your blog....but have never commented...rose up in your defense!

Bravo!! Is what I say!! Bravo!!!

~P said...

You have true talent and style, and that is not a compliment I hand out lightly. As a fellow decorator I can honestly say that some people do not appreciate the hard work it takes to create homes. I've been up until 3am sourcing JUST the right side table for a project because I want it to be the very best it can be, and most importantly bring HAPPINESS to the homeowner. If someone doesn't like your work, that is their problem. Sending unnamed comments is so very easy, but the creativity and passion needed to mold a space into a version of happiness for someone - that is true positive work that they will never understand. I wish you well and can't wait to see the book!

Susan said...

Just wanted to say that I have enjoyed your blog for a number of years and while I never comment I felt compelled to now. Your blog is truly lovely. It provides inspiration and a happiness. Please keep it up!

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